What Meets the Eye

I like stories about triumphant underdogs. I wrote one about 20 years ago. After dealing with controversy, I need a repose. This piece should do the trick. It talks about joy, happiness, and real beauty. I think it also addresses hope, tolerance, and perseverance. I hope you like it.

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What Meets the Eye



Once there was a caterpillar. Small, slow, at his best he was the least of all living creatures. Yet in his lowly state, he did not consider himself lowly. He was alone with this assessment, for all saw him as the least. Knowing all this he still smiled. "The maker of all made me," he would boast. The others did not bother to laugh at his ridiculous words. He was so small, so tiny, so unimportant. Only a fool would listen to him. Oh, there were times when some would tease him or try to put him in his place. It was better than nothing on a lazy summer day. Once the giraffe made fun of him because he had to view the world from such a low vantage point. The caterpillar just shrugged and said, "From down here the flowers are as trees and the trees are like mountains. From here things are even more glorious than from there where you see them." The turtle made sport of the fact that the caterpillar was even slower than he. The caterpillar simply pointed out that it only gave him longer to smell the sweetness of the wild flowers and to drink in the beauty of God's handiwork.



It was always like this. The animals could not make him feel sorry for himself. He did not have the sense to envy them. They were all greater than he. Still, he was content. He was happy. In fact, deep down the others envied him.



God was watching and with a compassionate tear he said, "Beauty like this must not be confined to such a humble shell." So God caused the caterpillar to sleep. Then he refashioned him and blessed him. When the caterpillar awoke he was different. Now he knew how to fly, so he did. He rode the wind and he reflected the sunlight like a wild flower. Such a sight to see, zigzagging, spiraling, fluttering here and there. God smiled. It was fitting that the greatest admirer of his beauty should become his greatest work of beauty. Then He remembered what He had written in His book, that the least would be first, and that light would overcome darkness, and that love would overcome hate. Those with understanding will think of this whenever they see a caterpillar become a butterfly.

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Happy Friday and enjoy your weekend everyone.



Until the next time

John Strain

Lock Step

Is it possible to be against gay marriage and not hate gays?

Is it possible to disagree with affirmative action and not be a racist?

Can someone rail against intolerance while being intolerant themselves?

If one is not for hate crimes, does that make one a hater?

Can your exercising freedom of speech intrude on another's rights?



I consider myself an open minded, tolerant, intelligent man. I try to live by principles. Some of them come from the work ethic I was taught growing up. Some come from my religious beliefs and others are products of many other influences including education and experiences. I get excited when I discover a conflict in my beliefs, because I know I will resolve it and the result will be growth.



To voice my views and listen to opposing views intelligently presented, is essential to my learning process. I believe that the "political correctness" movement of the last 14 years or so has squelched such debate. A good example is the gay marriage discussion. There are several questions about whether marriage should be exclusive to heterosexuals or redefined to include same sex couples. Other issues are involved, including religion and parenting. OK, so far so good. The problem comes in, as I see it, when an individual is branded as homophobic or a hater of gays if they do not agree with the gay point of view. This is an instance of hetero-hateo. This kind of thinking and tactic is not just in gay debates. The race / sex / gay card is pulled quickly when someone does not "fall in" when the politically correct agenda is unveiled. You better not disagree with us or you are a racist, homophobe, or sexist. This tactic is another form of intolerance.



Here is my evolution of thought about gays. I am sure the gay community is dying to know. When I grew up, all of the gays were in the closet, but started coming out in the 70's. At least this is my perception. As a boy, we called each other queer or faggot from joking around to expressing anger. I did not know any homosexuals then.



Later on I entered college and seminary and headed to the ministry. I thought then that being gay was a choice. My reasoning was that if God says do not be gay, but people were gay, then they had to choose it. It did not make sense to me God would make someone a certain way, then say don't be like that. I still had not met a gay person or talked to one that I knew of.



When I started working in psychiatric hospitals and living in New Orleans, I met and talked with many people who were gay - both sexes. We discussed, when did you know you were gay? and other questions. I was satisfied that people do not choose being gay. They are doing what is natural for them. I further decided to let God sort it all out. There are lots of things we should not do according to the Bible. Gay is definitely one of them, but so is divorce, gluttony, gossip, and drunkenness.



Some of the gay folks I met were wonderful, funny human beings. Others I met were the most angry, obnoxious assholes you would ever want to meet. Sort of like heterosexuals, the common denominator is people. Some people are great, some are pricks. Of all the wonderful people and all the assholes, some are gay and some are straight.



Gay marriage? Something in me says no, but I cannot think of a good reason. Therefore, I would have to vote yes. What about gay couples raising children? There is no one answer for this question in my book. Like any adoption, I think it depends on a lot of things. I do think, however, that it is a valid question. I also think it should be answered after reviewing pertinent research and actual situations and not on the basis of how loud someone can yell or how worked up a crowd of gays can get. This issue should seek to do what is best for the child, not a couple wanting said child. That is what irks me about custody battles and I have seen a lot of them. The rights of the parents are recognized over the rights of the child. The parents use their poor kid as a rope in their own personal tug-o-war. So whatever happens with respect to gay couples raising children, I hope the children are considered. I do not think the answer is an obvious yes or no. Because the children are important, how about some time to figure this out?



Here is something that irritates me: When an individual says, "I am gay. Do you have a problem with that?" I want to say, "no, but do you?" In a perfect world we would have sex with whom ever in privacy and not announce our preferences in public. I bet we would be surprised to know who among our coworkers is in to S & M, bondage, sheep, goats, or whatever. If I do not know, I cannot discriminate on the basis of their sex practices. I am not suggesting a gay person should stay in the closet and I am not comparing homosexuality with bestiality. I do think that sexual preference is a less desirable means by which to define a person.



I will admit there are some real jerks out there who hate gays just because they are gay. Some of these people wrap themselves in the flag and the Bible. There are also some in the gay community who spew equal amounts of intolerant venom toward equally innocent heterosexuals. I get caught in the crossfire.



I have rambled and wandered a bit. I have shared my personal beliefs, thoughts, and ideas. I am still forming opinions. My views were not forged in a furnace of hate and intolerance. I may not always agree with the gay point of view, but that does not make me a homophobic or a dumb redneck.



As for gay marriage, hell, I am for it, why should the heterosexuals get all the fun. The lawyers will come out better than anyone on this deal. Think of all the money they will make with double the divorce rate. There are more important considerations for those getting a same sex marriage. I cannot remember the blog I saw this on, but these were some of what was mentioned.



• Who gets carried across the threshold?

• Who gets to throw the bouquet?

• Whose parents pay for the wedding?



You get the idea.



The title of this post is "Lock Step." I attempted to describe the opposite. All gays are not the same, neither are heterosexuals the same. So we should leave room in our debate to recognize this. It is also true some people may be against same sex marriage while not hating gays.



Some people are gay. Some people are straight. All gays and straights are people. If we focus on what we have in common, maybe the differences won't matter so much.



Until the next time,

John Strain

Lamron

You may remember a while back, (January 22-25) I shared a book idea about a person with a chronic mental illness. I posted four days of introduction. I finally got some obligations taken care of and have some time to write. Lamron is Normal spelled backwards. The book opens as Lamron wakes up in the hospital. The first portion is called "Lifting Fog." The following is what I have so far.

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Lifting Fog:



As if crawling out of a cave into the light, consciousness slowly filled my mind and I became aware of my senses. The fluorescent light was brightly illuminating the pale green cinder block walls of the small room. Voices from outside the room mingled and echoed in indistinguishable noise. I was lying on a bare mattress which was covered in vinyl. I could feel the plastic on my skin because there was no sheet. My only cover was a thin blue blanket. Do you know the feeling of waking up in a strange place? For a few seconds you look around and think, "where am I?" Then from somewhere in the brain a thought rises and you remember you are at your grandmother's house or in a hotel room. My thoughts were rising and I knew I was in another psychiatric hospital and in the seclusion room.



"Lamron," her voice startled me. I glanced toward the door to see a woman wearing a lab coat. A stethoscope was draped over her shoulder and she was holding two small cups. "I have some medicine for you. How are you feeling?" "Fine," I lied. I really felt terrible. My head was throbbing and I was still very drowsy. My body ached and my stomach was queazy. "My name is Rachel," she said smiling, "I am your nurse today." Then I noticed another person standing in the doorway. He was a rather large black man, "Hi Lamron," the man said, "I'm Mike, one of the techs here." I nodded as I swallowed the contents of the cups, one contained two pills and the other was filled with water. After I swallowed the medicine, Rachel said, "let me look in your mouth." They check to make sure patients do not "cheek" the medication. Not everyone is as cooperative as me when it comes to swallowing pills. "Ok, good," Rachel turned and whisked out of the room. Mike said, "we'll check on you later, just let us know if you need anything."



When I laid back on the pillow, I heard among the echoes a familiar voice. "Lamron, you just swallowed poison, you will be with me very soon." The raspy male voice tailed off into demonic laughter. It was Legion my tormenter. His words and laughter sent waves of fear throughout my body and I felt myself begin to shake. "You're frightened aren't you Lamron," Legion continued, "Your God hates you. He has left you unprotected, so I will do my bidding. You will soon be my apprentice in Hell." Then I heard a chorus of laughter. There were others with him. Lamron listened as the demons talked about him. "How much longer until the poison kills him?" "Soon, very soon."



Lamron began to scream, "God save me! Save me! Protect me from the evil ones!" He was standing in the corner of the small room with his hands over his head. Hearing the ruckus, Rachel and Mike ran into the seclusion room. "Lamron, what is it?" Rachel said. "Keep away from me, you gave me poison!" Lamron screamed. "Oh God, don't forsake me your faithful servant." Legion continued his verbal assault, he kept telling Lamron he was dying, that God had given up on him, that Lamron was about to pay for his sins." Lamron kept screaming, "God, please help me!"



Rachel turned to Mike and said, "watch him while I prepare an injection and get some more male staff." Mike nodded and stepped forward. Lamron kept screaming, but staying in the corner. He was now sitting down with his knees drawn toward his chest. Moments later, Rachel returned with two hypodermic needles. One 5 mg of Haldol an antipsychotic and the other was 1 mg of Ativan, a tranquilizer to calm him down. Rachel approached Lamron's corner and tried to reassure him. "Lamron, we are here to help you, I have some more medicine for you, it will help you relax." Legion kept whispering to Lamron, "the nurse is my agent. She is bringing your death injections." "NO," shouted Lamron, "stay away from me." He stood up and continued screaming at Rachel. Rachel stepped back, not knowing if Lamron was about to get violent. "I have to give you this shot, Lamron," Rachel said more firmly, "it will make you feel better." "No, no, no shot, you are his agent." Lamron continued screaming and crying. Rachel gave Mike the nod as she stepped back. "Lamron, we are going to give you the shot. It is easier if you cooperate," but Mike's words were met with the same protests as Rachel's. "OK guys," Mike said, and in harmony, the four men grabbed the struggling Lamron. In an instant he was face down on the floor, his pants were pulled down exposing his buttocks. Rachel gave the injections, reassuring Lamron. "It's going to be OK, Lamron, you just need to calm down." Rachel gathered the alcohol preps and hypodermic needles and deposited them in a small red biohazard container. She went back to the nurses station to begin recording the incident in Lamron's chart. Mike and the others continued to hold Lamron who was still talking about being poisoned.



"Lamron," Mike spoke, "we are going to let you up, are you going to be OK?" Lamron agreed. The men loosened their grip and helped Lamron to his feet. "Why don't you lay back down and get some more rest man?" Mike said. Lamron obeyed, but Legion and the others were laughing loudly in his head. It was a symphony of misunderstood thoughts and actions and Lamron knew the melody well. It was the music of fear and confusion and he had no control over it, be it volume, length of song, or time of day



Slowly, the medication began to work and Lamron could feel his body relax. Legion and the others stopped talking and he drifted off into a deep sleep.



Out at the nurses station, the men were taking off their rubber gloves and standing in line to wash their hands at the sink. "That guy is nuts," one of the male techs said, "what was he talking about agents and poison and all that?" Rachel looked up from her writing, "he has a fixed religious delusion. He hears voices and believes them to be demons. Sometimes he hears angels. We've had Lamron before, he clears up pretty well." "I thought he was going to do something," commented another tech. "Not Lamron," said Mike, " he was just scared, we have never had any problems with him."

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Until the next time

John Strain

Happy Mardi Gras everyone. Do you want to see more pictures of me and my beads? If so take your paw and click this. Here is another great photo of me with my stash.

Hobo (John's friend, age 13)

Leave It To Beaver

I learned a lot about life from the Leave It To Beaver Show. It came on in syndication everyday after school. It was entertaining and educational. The Beaver or Theodore, was always getting into some sort of trouble. A lesson was learned each episode. The show was a wholesome tutor about life.



One of my favorite characters was Eddie Haskel. Eddie was a good kid, but full of it and usually leading the Beaver or Wally astray. He was funny though and Mrs. Cleaver always saw right through him.



What about the sitcoms today? That is a rhetorical question. The sitcoms today have evolved, I am being kind. Today's sitcoms know no limits where comedy material is concerned. The sexual innuendoes and double-entendres are so plentiful the jokes lose their surprise. I admire people like Bob Hope who can be funny without resorting to sex or bad language. OK, I tell dirty jokes, but I have to to get laughs. I am no Bob Hope.



How would Leave It To Beaver be today, if that show's writers applied today's standards? Imagine a scene with Ward at the breakfast table. June is making breakfast, then she says, "Ward, don't you think you were awfully hard on the beaver last night?" Ward looking up from his newspaper, "I was really hard." They both snicker and wink.



I am glad these shows are still running. Times change and I am not sure if art imitates life or the other way around. I am glad the old shows remain. They glimpse a more innocent time in my life. Their simple lessons were timely.



I often thought about Ward Cleaver when I had to lecture my own son. Ward had me pretty well prepared.



I suppose I owe a debt of gratitude to the show's creators. I learned a lot as a boy and as a father I still aim for the ideals they set.



Until the next time and Happy Mardi Gras

John Strain