Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Controversy
At John's Online Journal, I strive to discuss topics from personal to the latest controversial current event. It is my aim to present things fairly and invite the same kind of honest feedback from readers. Not shying away from controversy, even on the weekend, I am tackling the controversy of this year's
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. This is the 40th Anniversary Issue and it's on newsstands in the US for $5.99, while my friends in Canada have to cough up an extra two bucks.
I did not purchase the magazine myself, fortunately I have a teenage son to do it for me. "Dad, do you want to see the Swimsuit Edition?" my son inquired. "Sure," I said, I am always interested in the latest fashion trends. When I began to leaf through the pages, however, I was overwhelmed by what I can only describe as a cataclysmic concoction of false advertisement and misleading themes. I was never so shocked and appalled in my entire life.
The first area of controversy I will address is the difficulty I had finding the swimsuits. One would think a "swimsuit edition" would feature swimsuits. Hello, is anybody home? Sports Illustrated seems to have adopted a
"Where's Waldo" theme and are making the swimsuits as difficult to find as the little four eyed cartoon character. That is fine I suppose, but make that clear to the reader. Perhaps they could put a disclaimer on the cover. Another possibility is to change the name of the issue. How about, "The Sports Illustrated: Where's the Swimsuit?" Edition.
Here are some examples. Click photos to view larger image.
I must make it clear, I am in no way criticizing these young ladies. For instance, this helpful girl is holding the tire, as they no doubt had a flat going out to one of the photo shoots. I cannot quite tell, but her swimsuit may be under the tire. She probably had to take it off to clean her hands. Still, why would SI put this photo in a swimsuit edition? Hats off, and everything else to the little helper anyway.
I am beginning to wonder about the folks at SI. This woman does not look like she was modeling for a photographer. She looks frightened, maybe even hiding. I cannot fault her for not having on a swimsuit. She was not even modeling for crying out loud. I am beginning to suspect the SI folks are running a human slave trade or something. This poor girl was obviously tired from farm work and was resting, maybe even hiding from her task masters. The poor thing, she looks so frightened and over worked.
Here is another example of no swimsuit. Frankie is wearing gym shorts. Again, her frightened look makes me wonder if she had been threatened with those oars to her side. The folks at SI must have taken intimidation courses from Saddam Hussein. Subtle and effective, the girls fall into line. I can hear them talking about their scheme in my mind. "Yeah, we give non-swimsuits to these girls and photograph them, then we put the photos in a swimsuit edition and the public won't be the wiser, muahahaha." Sick.
Marisa is wearing an unmistakable startled look on her face and what I believe to be a portion of a farm house tablecloth. About to cross the fence trying to escape, she did not notice them behind her. I suppose the SI folks want us to believe someone would actually wear a swimsuit in the middle of a field. I called SI and a spokesman for the magazine explained Marisa was looking for the swimming pool and had taken a wrong turn. Right, I am not convinced.
I do not know what happened here. I suspect the girl was being kept in the box on which she is sitting. Now the necklace she is wearing does not qualify as a swimsuit. She looks dazed and confused. Where she got the cowboy boots and gloves I am not sure. Perhaps she overpowered one of the guards and took his clothing. The SI spokesman told me the girl was play acting, but could not remember what she was supposed to be portraying. I think there is something very wrong here.
I am sorry to show some of these photos, I know they are disturbing. Frankie looks unconscious. She also looks starved. She is in sand and on a blanket, but this does not look like a day at the beach. My thinking is they led her to believe she was going to eat a meal. They even gave her a napkin - that is what she is holding. Eventually her blood sugar dropped so low, she collapsed. What does this have to do with swimsuits? I do not know, that is the controversy.
While this is a swimsuit, it could be confused as a billboard. It would not surprise me if this was the daughter, wife, or girlfriend of one of the SI big wigs. They give the only swimsuit to a family member, while the other models are worked like slaves and only given portions of swimsuits or made to improvise with table linen. This photo is shameless self promotion. Can you say tacky?
This section is about the display of the swim wear. I will concede these are swimsuits, but as a man interested in the latest swim fashion, how can I see it the way SI displays them? This is blatant false advertisement. I lay down six bucks for their rag and no swimsuits. Pathetic.
Petra is exotic I suppose, but I cannot see the swimsuit for her crock.
I guess I know why they call them string bikinis. The problem, once again, is the manner in which the swimsuit is displayed. I cannot see it. What part of the suit not concealed in the models cheeks, is no doubt in the front away from the camera. The "Where's Waldo" approach shines through again.
SI obviously spent a lot of money. Wouldn't you think they could afford swimsuits that are not defective. This one for instance, while nice I suppose, is missing the heart appliqué on the right side.
Another display problem. The model is not wearing the swimsuit. This photo is way too busy. What with the tree and girl, the suit gets lost. I am very disappointed. Instead of seeing swimsuits, all I get is photos of frightened, overworked, unconscious, and crock holding women. I hope this post will save some of you out there.
This one is too corny for comment.
The most shocking feature of this whole affair is the SI people are Republicans of which I myself am. I would expect better from my "wrapped in the flag" friends. I suppose people are people and party affiliation does not guarantee a minimum standard.
After all of this I wrote a letter to the good folks at SI, who unfortunately are a disgrace to my Republican Party. I will post its contents here:
Dear Sports Illustrated,
I am deeply disappointed with the 2004 version of your annual swimsuit edition. Instead of swimsuits, it was full of women anywhere from 50% to 99.9% naked. I could barely see the suits. Shoot, in some photos I could not even find the suits.
Therefore, I have decided to take the following action. Please find enclosed my check for $24.95 to renew my subscription to your magazine. I will give you another chance.
Sincerely,
John Strain
That will show them.
Until the next time
John Strain