Marking Territory

This is a photo of one of the sign spattered corners in our town. Saturday was election day in Louisiana. Voters had to decide a number of local and state contests. I have learned a few things about politics and conducting local campaigns because my friend Marty is a politician. He spent 8 years on the city council and Saturday he was vying for a parish council seat. (parish is the same as county)



On the local level, candidates usually run their campaign on a shoe string budget. No TV ads. The incumbents spend the most money by throwing big rallies (parties) with an open bar, food, and music. Otherwise most of the money spent, it seems, goes into signs. A lot of energy and scrutiny goes into the placement of signs. The rush to get the signs up is a competition within a competition. There are also rules governing where one can and cannot put their campaign sign. For instance, signs cannot be placed on public property and they cannot be put in a location without the property owner's permission. Rules are made to be broken and sign controversies are not unusual for a local election around here. The primary sign offense is when someone places a sign in a prominent location without permission - say a telephone pole along a highway. Some of the more crafty sign law breakers place them high enough on the pole no average would be sign cop can reach it without a cherry picker. If the candidate for whom the sign supports is confronted about the rule violation, they never know anything about it. "I apologize for one of my obvious over zealous supporters. I would not authorize nor do I condone breaking sign placement laws. We run a clean campaign here . . . blah . . .blah . . .blah." That statement should be spoken with a Foghorn Leghorn accent.



Rational discussions with candidates about campaign signs produce a continuation of irrational behavior. They will say of their opponent, "yes he has a lot of signs out there, but signs don't vote." Then he will get in his car and feverishly post more signs trying to catch up. He will say to his friends, "It looks bad if he has more signs than I do." There may be some benefit in having signs all over the place. When I see a sign in a yard, I figure that household supports that candidate. Depending on who it is it could possibly be influential. I have not noticed increased traffic by my house to see whose signs I have posted though.



A sign can work against you if it is grammatically incorrect. For instance, during a recent election the candidate's name was written in this way, "Ed. Peters." Ever since then he has been known as "Ed Period Peters." He did not win his election either.



Our election sign behavior has its parallel in the animal world. Dogs pee on things to say, "this is my territory." I think putting up a sign is the same thing. Some politician is saying "this is my territory, my supporter." A sign then is a form of pee. Political pee. Maybe that is why in politics there are always "leaks" and politicians get "pissed" off. Maybe that is why there are tax "hikes", and politicians are often all "wet." To carry the comparison further, new politicians are often embraceable, cute, and innocent like puppies. More seasoned politicians can be grumpy and attack like an older dog. Like a pack of wild dogs politicians may devour a weaker one viciously. Some in the political arena more resemble dogs when it comes to sexual behavior. They often have problems controlling their appetites and want what the other "dog" has. Come to think of it politicians are an awful lot like dogs. I like dogs quite a bit though. My dog behaves well because I don't let him get away with things. Sure he may get in the trash occasionally if the lid is left up, but when he hears my voice scolding him he lowers his head and tucks his tail between his legs. Politicians get away with whatever the voters allow them to get away with. Well, these are just some thoughts.



Sunday morning early they will be collecting their signs. I do not know what they do with them but they will disappear until the next election. All of this sign behavior is interesting but, more importantly, beneath it all I have an appreciation for democracy and the power and privilege to choose our leaders and representatives.



Until the next time

John Strain

A Perfect Ten

I have been working on a video / DVD project since mid August. Almost every free moment has been spent in front of the computer working in Photoshop and Final Cut Pro. This is the cover art I made for it. The occasion was two of my good friends Claude and Judi's 10th wedding anniversary. Last night we celebrated the event and premiered the DVD. All in all, 5 couples came to our house which was decorated like an Italian bistro complete with red and white checked tablecloths. Brian made spaghetti and meatballs (although Irish he has a meatball gift), and I downloaded a bunch of Italian music. Among the tunes were Dean Martin singing "That's Amore", Andrea Bocelli, Jerry Vale, Connie Francis, Caruso, and others I have never heard of. The weather was perfect. The doors stayed open to let the cool evening air provide the sidewalk cafe feel. It was a great night to celebrate Claude and Judi's 10th.



The DVD was made up of 275 photos, portions of their wedding video and other video I had of them from our Y2K plantation experience, Judi's 50 surprise birthday party, and other fun times. It came out to 30 minutes or so. The process of assembling all of these memories always has a positive affect on me. I am immersed in all of those good times. I see how happy people are and can be. I also know they are only snapshots of life. We do not usually go running for the camera to commemorate a fight. Imagine this: "Hold that thought honey, I want to get a picture of how angry you look so I can remember it," or "You look depressed let me get a picture of that." Knowing all of this I realize how much our mental state is more about what we choose than it is what happens to us.



I may begin to sound like a broken record but I also feel gratitude and appreciation. For those of you who do not know what a broken record sounds imagine a stuck CD on downers. Anyway, I derive so much pleasure from my friends and these get togethers. I need it. It energizes me, it makes me feel connected, I care about someone and someone cares about me.



Another ordinary Friday night has become a lasting memory for us all. All it took was a few meatballs, some Italian music, some recorded memories, and a gathering of 10 good friends.



Take my advice and celebrate something. Life gives us a lot of stress and disappointment it is up to us to make the good stuff. Together we can.



Here's to you Claude and Judi. Happy 10th. Here's to you my friends you give my life happiness.



Until the next time

John Strain

Life 101

I was sitting in my office when my cell phone rang Wednesday afternoon about 3:00 PM. It is always my son John that calls so I was not surprised to hear his voice, but I was surprised at what he said. "Dad, my truck got towed." "Your truck got towed?" I repeated. There was a few moments of silence while I fished around in my brain for the correct fatherly advice. The trouble is, I had not dealt with this one yet. "What happened?" I said hoping he would toss in a detail or two. "I came out of my class and my truck was gone," he said. "Then how do you know it was not stolen?" Now my logic was flowing and I was beginning to hone in on what to do. "Because there is about 20 other people looking for their cars too," he said. I was torn between dealing with the situation and getting to the bottom of why the truck was towed in the first place. My suspicion was he parked where he should not have, but was it posted? Did he know he was doing wrong? or was he just unaware it was the wrong place to park.



John began describing a familiar predicament of college students. He cited the problem of inadequate parking. "If I park in the lot it is a million miles from my class. I could park in the $2 lot, but I have been parking in this place since school started. I pay for a parking sticker, but there is no place to park on campus. It's not fair," he said. I began to laugh. Refer to a few posts back about how I think pain is funny - that goes for psychic pain as well. It is also funny when your son realizes for himself something you have preached to him since he jumped out of the womb. "Son, you have to follow the rules. You cannot fight the system." I suspect what happened to him was a legal scam. College students are "screwed" by the school and the town and scammed for every penny that can be gotten. They know the kids have little recourse and are not sophisticated enough to "fight city hall." They screw them because they can. The way to get them back is to throw their "please support your alma mater" letters in the circular file.



My advice to him was to go to the school office or call the police to track down the truck, then pay to get it out. He called me back in about 45 minutes. "Dad, I got my truck. They charged me $95.00, what a rip," he protested. They would not accept a debit card so he had to find an ATM and withdraw the money and give the towing company cash. Fortunately he ran into a friend who had been towed from the same spot a week ago. His friend told him where to go to find his vehicle.



I have been telling John that he would learn a lot at college outside of class. Getting his truck towed and having to fork over $95 of his own money was a hard but valuable lesson in Life 101.



Until the next time

John Strain

Only 84 Shopping Days Until Christmas

Before you brand me as a Type A, anal retentive, over-organized, unrealistic person, hear me out. Christmas is in 84 days. That leaves 12 weekends before that holiday. Thanksgiving is the 27th this year (late) and after Thanksgiving weekend there are only 3 more weekends before Christmas.



Unrealistic expectations and lack of planning add to the stress of the holidays. Instead of enjoying them we endure them. What do you want out of the holidays? I want to enjoy them. I want to have some nice moments with my family and friends. I want time to absorb their meaning. I want my actions during the holidays to be meaningful and not obligatory.



All of this is possible with a little effort. The longer you wait, the less time you have. You can choose now what you want. If you want the whole nine yards, then you should begin now. Ask yourself what you want this holiday season and plan and work accordingly. When we are bemoaning the over-commercialization of the holidays and whining there is not enough time we are overlooking our own culpability in the process. We get what we get because of what we want and what effort we put into it. (generally speaking)



Last year I made a decision about this time of year to send Christmas cards, choose gifts that were meaningful, and otherwise enjoy the season. I was tired of wishing I had sent Christmas cards, and wishing I had picked out better gifts, and wishing I was better organized. Those efforts paid off in dividends of one of my most enjoyable holiday seasons.



Here are a few tidbits of advice and some links about organizing your holidays:



Make a Christmas Card list with correct addresses This is a good thing to do anyway - get all of your addresses in the computer. I usually did not send cards because I had addresses scattered all over the place. When they are organized, the process of printing them out only takes a few minutes. Make up your mind if you want to send a letter. Think about the design, what you would like to say and finish it say by mid November.



Make a gift list: List everyone you intend to give a gift and start to think about their gift. With a little thought you will come up with something just right. The fun in giving is knowing the person likes what you got them. It is a good idea to buy a couple of extra gifts in case you get a gift from someone not on your list. Have it wrapped and ready in your spare bedroom. Then when someone you did not expect pops in and gives you that gift certificate to "Outback Steak House" you can say, "I have something for you too."



Get your house and yard ready: Do you have some shrubs that need trimmed before you put the lights on them? Do you have to get your Christmas decorations out of mini storage? Do you have to rearrange furniture to make a spot for your tree? Get your decorations out and know what you need to purchase this year. Then get to the store early for the best selection.



Take advantage of being early: The shopping season really heats up Thanksgiving weekend. If you want to avoid the mob scene - hit the mall before Thanksgiving.



Holiday Organizing and Planning Links

Holiday Organizing

Creative Homemaking.com

More holiday organizing tips



So take it for what its worth, but don't say you were not warned. I'll see you at the Christmas tree farm.



Until the next time

John Strain

Jack's Choice

I wrote about one of my patients by the name of Jack last week. If you do not remember the story you can read it here. Tomorrow Jack will be discharged to a homeless shelter - his choice. For some reason, something bothers me about this case. I have treated a lot of people. Patients frequently ignore my advice, resist help, even blame me for their problems. Jack certainly falls into all three of these categories. I have endured a lot of verbal abuse and threats. I have held my patience conversing with him. He is easily angered and is comfortable being a victim. In many ways my job will be much more pleasant without the daily arguments, unending demands, and constant testing of every rule.



I just hate to see someone walk into certain disaster, but Jack insists. His family, his doctor, me, the rest of the treatment team have made little difference in Jack's attitude. He is stable though and cannot stay with us forever. Over the weeks we have sought to answer the question: Is Jack acting this way because he is sick or is Jack acting this way because it is his personality. We finally accepted the fact, Jack is making a choice, exercising a preference. He will have to go out and decompensate which I predict will happen in a week.



Jack's family member apologized to me for his behavior. I hate to see the family go through all of this. I cannot comprehend the kind of hell they endure with Jack. I have said it many times but it is worth repeating - be thankful for a mind that thinks logically. Be thankful you can communicate with others. I get to see what life is like without those things and it is tragic to the patient and the family.



I do not like being ineffective. I hate to have sound advice ignored and pain result. This man is going to be preyed upon in the city but no warning seems to rouse his concern. He wants some beer and some pot. He would sell his soul for five minutes of pleasure now.



Why do I care? It is his choice. I cannot save him from himself. It may be the accumulation of many things. I care about Jack's welfare, I do not like to fail, I do not like my advice ignored when it is reasonable to assume his alternate plan will result in a readmission soon - if he does not get killed first. I feel some obligation to the family and my efforts have not produced favorable results for them. Their situation will not change except now Jack will be on the streets. They will await the phone call informing them Jack is in Jail or a hospital or maybe worse.



The world is full of people like Jack. He is one of many going nowhere, causing pain to their families. I look at him and realize he was once held by his mother like all of the other mothers and babies. She probably wondered what he would turn out to be. As he grew, Jack began to stand out. He misbehaved in school, he was a loner because he could not get along with the other kids. His mother did what she could, but he got worse. She felt shame, embarrassment, guilt. She had thoughts it was all her fault. Nothing worked for long. Jack spiraled in and now he is taking a step deeper into the pit.



What awaits him is a miserable life being shuffled from one institution to the next Tomorrow he will be discharged and I will get a new patent. Maybe I can help him - maybe I can help him help himself.



Social work is like planting crops. Some folks plant seeds and some harvest. We get to do a bit of both in life. My hope is that some of the seeds I planted in Jack will somehow grow as he continues to receive help and support from his family and the mental health community. Jack has made his choice.



Good luck Jack - you are certainly going to need it.



Until the next time

John Strain