Of Nations and Men

On Mother's Day afternoon, Barbara went shopping and I was home alone. It was just me and the dog lying close by. I flipped on the the Western Channel and began watching the last half of a John Wayne movie, North to Alaska. Then I went to the computer and dinked around while listening to another movie. Then another movie came on and I listened to part of it and watched some of it.



It occurred to me the movies were focused on individual struggle. One man was a half breed. He was torn between being an indian and being white. The more he tried to avoid trouble, the more trouble found him. The movie dealt with honesty, racism, personal struggle, and loyalty, to name but a few issues.



What a contrast to today. In today's movies, the individual is lost. The nation or mankind is the topic. Individuals are to sacrifice for their side. The Westerns tell story after story, where the individual is more important than the nation. Good values overcome injustice. I realize things are not so simple, but the Westerns are telling stories "the way it should be."



Movies today are often about a cause. The Matrix was about man against machines. Lord of the Rings was another good vs. evil trilogy. Open Range, another Western, was about good vs. evil, but also highly individual. At any rate, today, the individual is, I believe, less important, than say 25 years ago.



If one considers today's political climate, the individual is not important either. The party is important. The candidate is not important except to gain control for the party. it is a seduction. We can fall victim to the rah, rah, of a team and sacrifice individual values.



I do not want to get into a "which candidate is a better individual" debate. What I would hope to do is challenge individuals to stop looking outside themselves for the answers and look inside. There is no political party, system, or person who can tell us the secret to life. Preachers, politicians, teachers, and business leaders cannot tell you the secret. You can follow a preacher, politician, teacher, or business leader, but you will one day be disappointed. Look within. Struggle with questions and solutions yourself. Look outside yourself for information and data, but make up your own mind. Do not blindly follow a political party or system of thought - they will only disappoint you in the end.



Struggling with issues is part of life's challenge. The struggle makes you strong and that strength makes you more independent. Our world needs more people thinking for themselves and fewer faithful followers to polarized ideologies.



Living in America is beginning to be only tolerable when a certain party is in charge. I laugh at the celebrities who announce they will move away if the Republican is elected. I would imagine there are people who feel they should move if a Democrat is elected. My reaction to them all is, "Let me help you pack." Is our country so terrible if your choice does not become president? What a bunch of pansies.



Our nation was built on the backs of strong individuals. The pioneers who moved west, the immigrants who built the railroad, and people after people who struggled to survive. I feel we dishonor them when we become so petty. Wouldn't it be nice if our divided country united after the election. Think what we could do.



It can happen. Tell you what, I'll do my part and you do yours.



Until the next time

John Strain

Happy Mother's Day Ladies

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)



"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers." -- Jewish proverb



"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." -- Lin Yutang



"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." -- Honore' de Balzac (1799-1850)



"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." -- George Washington (1732-1799)



"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class." -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1907- )



"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom." -- Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)



"Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)



"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)



"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." --Author Unknown



Enjoy your day

John Strain

Beautiful Spring Morning

Today is my more typical Saturday routine. I will run 10 miles, then come back and get the yard in order. After that, who knows? I have lots of little jobs awaiting my attention. I need to begin interior painting in preparation for my workstation and generally, we need to embark on a declutter campaign.



I'd better begin. Enjoy your Saturday,

John Strain

MY MOTHER

In my line of work, I meet people who have serious problems with their mother. Some mothers are abusive, while others abandon their children. These actions inflict scars incomprehensible. One time I was admitting a man who could not recall his mother's name.



My experience is nothing of that sort. I have been fortunate. I have a mother who also became a friend. I love her because she is my mother, but I respect and admire her for what she is and what she does.



As a matter of fact, my mother may have done too good of a job in my case. I have often quipped, my mother can find something good about anything I do. If I were to take a dump in the middle of the living room, I have little doubt, she would say something positive about it. "That is very creative John, I would have never thought to do that myself." This kind of unconditional love and acceptance has given me a good self-esteem. My friends might depict it differently than self-esteem, ego maniac or narcissistic prick comes to mind. I think they are kidding though.



This month, my mom will be 72. She got a computer a couple of years ago and today she has a blog presence, check her out Essentially Esther.



She is a good writer and in recognition of Mother's Day, I would like to share some of her with you. Twenty years ago, she wrote a piece about motherhood. This piece reveals a lot about her. She is logical, calculating, fair, honest, and loving. She is a human being and therefore not perfect, but I always felt loved and I always felt proud she was my mom. In my book that is about as close to perfect there is.

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A TRIBUTE TO MY CHILDREN ON MOTHER'S DAY -1984

I listened as the pastor gave a flowery sermon on the virtues of motherhood. If I were not a mother I could believe it to be as routinely noble as he described it. His voice hummed like a bee probing for pollen in a flower garden. My thought indicator began a reverse selection from the storehouse of dusty memories on the subject.



I remembered the diagnosis that introduced me to the select category. "Nothing wrong with you that nine months won't cure, the doctor stated in a matter-of-fact tone. My inner reaction was one of panic and impending doom. I had been married two months and was just ready to celebrate my eighteenth birthday. Though I perceived myself to be mature and well disciplined it was only a facade. In reality I was a mass of contradictions, unsure of who I was, where I was going and given to taking the easy way out of anything I didn't like. I need not write more to convince you that the news coming from this strange doctor was unwanted and unwelcome.



I went into psychological shock. I fretted and stewed and literally made myself sick. For five months I had morning sickness and lost fifteen pounds because I couldn't keep anything down. With the same matter-of-fact tone he had pronounced my unwanted pregnancy the same doctor proclaimed I would miscarry. It was at that instant a defiant protectorate welled up inside me and roared, "Oh no I won't." From that sick, frightened girl came the first reaction of motherhood. In a wondrous moment all thoughts evaporated concerning my own wishes and suddenly I was propelled into thinking only of the unborn child.



The duration of the pregnancy was fraught with terrible financial problems and physical complications. In due time the trauma of delivery was met and conquered and a child-mother began the business of raising the child.



At first I mimed the actions and parroted the words I’d seen and heard from my own mother. It was odd how well it seemed to work when I was the child but now as the mother the results seemed less effective. I began a long series of trials and errors, some original, some copied. Over the months and eventually into child two and three I labored to perfect a system that was reasonable and workable. To make things "fair" between three children isn't always possible. I learned it is foolhardy to make hard-and fast rules. Each situation required a different judgment. It also seemed logical to explain the reasoning behind the judgment. I learned early that communication is necessary even for little ones and as the years went by it remained a tool to solve problems. I worked for respect without intimidation, friendly rapport rather than mandates from a tyrant and a sense of freedom that evolves from trust. Common courtesy for one another was a must.



Inevitably and invisibly I fell victim to my own ideals and standards for the children. The hypocrisy of verbalizing morals I didn't possess drove me to an honesty, and a discipline I had never embraced before. Seeing such obvious failures of ethics in the children only pointed to my own shortcomings with ghastly exposure.



The years have flown away on pastel wings. The children are all gone now. Theirs' is the freedom to accept or reject the way they were raised. Theirs' is the responsibility to pass on the best and hopefully forget the worst.



I prayerfully and fearfully considered the training of each child and tried to meet their every need. I stood before God, helpless and dismayed many times. It was only His guidance and our joint love for the children that solved the problem in every situation.



Preachers deliver typical Mother's Day sermons to oblige a calendar date. Congregations listen attentively because everyone has or has had a mother. Only mothers know it is because of the children that we are what we are.



Lovingly,

Mom

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Have A Happy Mother's Day

John Strain

Honesty

Honesty is the best policy. Tell the truth. A liar is not to be respected. These were things drilled into my head by my parents, Sunday School teachers, and the Boy Scouts. I learned at an early age to be honest, because my mother always knew when I was up to something. it was futile to even think about getting away with anything around her. Besides having eyes in back of her head, she was omnipresent, omniscient, and could read my thoughts. Only a fool would try to lie to my mother. Only a fool and my sister Becky, haha.



I was encumbered with the usual childhood limitations and poor eyesight. The end result was, I learned to tell the truth most of the time and I learned first hand how honesty really was the best policy.



I have tried to teach this to my son. Lately, he and his friends have been playing poker. A while back, he got online and ordered a poker table top and a sleeve of poker chips. The package came a few days ago and instead of sending him one sleeve (50) poker chips, they sent him a nice 500 piece set. This baby was nice. It came in a titanium, foam lined case. There were 500 poker chips, two decks of cards, and five dice, all neatly tucked away in their custom made slots. The 50 chips cost $9.00. The set they sent cost $100.00.











John phoned me at work to tell me about the mix up. I could tell by his voice, he thought he hit the jackpot. "John, you know we need to call the company to tell them they sent the wrong stuff, don't you?" I said, somewhat dampening his enthusiasm. "Yes," he replied, lacking enthusiasm. When I got home, i called the company and explained the mistake. The man on the other end of the phone asked me to wait on hold while he checks things out on his end. A moment later he got back on the phone and said, "honesty has its rewards. I spoke to my manager and he said because you were honest, we would like you to keep the deluxe set of poker chips." I thanked him and promised to steer business his way whenever I had the opportunity.



John was elated. I continued my lecture. It was nice of them to do that, but we did what we did, because it was right, not for any other reason. We are entitled to what we paid for and nothing else. It was a good lesson in honesty, but honesty does not always get you extra. Sometimes being honest will cost you.



My wife Barbara told me a story about honesty once costing her. We met at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. She was studying social work and I was studying biblical studies and psychology. One of the required classes was missions and it was taught by a former missionary spinster with a huge chest. Her name was Dr. Falls. We knew her affectionately as Chesty Falls. But that is beside the point. On one of her final exams, she asked the question, "Did you read the entire text?" Most folks checked "yes" and moved on. Barbara, however, was honest and admitted she did not read the entire text. It cost her a letter grade in the class. Her honesty cost her something. My thought after she reminded me of the incident was, "Leave it to the Baptists to reward someone's honesty with a penalty."



We should be honest because it is right, but if you are in a position to recognize another person's honesty, the reward thing feels a lot better than does the guilt thing.



Sometimes a lie is appropriate. If a little child asks me if I want to play a game with them and I don't want to, I would probably lie and say, "I would love to play a game with you."



I have lied telling people I like things which I really do not so as not to hurt their feelings or to make them feel good.



For the most part, not telling the truth is wrong. We do that by leaving out facts, inserting facts, and just flat telling stories. That kind of behavior will get you into trouble. It also requires you have an excellent memory, because your facts will begin to conflict.



Now, if you are ever in the market for poker tables or anything poker, check out these nice folks:





Poker Tables and Poker Chips





Their kind gesture made an impression on both me and my son.



Until the next time

John Strain