A Mother's Love

Mental illness has a profound affect on the family. I have worked in the same geographical location for fourteen years and I have seen the impact on families. Today, I was talking to the mother of a patient and she told me he was no longer a part of her life.

Think of what it would take for a mother to say those words. I know the history of this case and I know what this mother has done over the years. She has put up with a lot and allowed this individual to live with her even though his behavior is often violent and, at the very least, stress provoking. The words, "he is no longer a part of my life," were not uttered in haste or in anger. They were instead her acknowledgement that she could no longer subject herself to such a chaotic life.

I understand completely. She was not angry or vindictive. She did not sound remorseful or offer apologies. She paid her dues many times over. She sounded resolved and matter-of-fact. Her decision was arrived at after years of heartache and denial.

Imagine your child having a mental illness so severe you would choose estrangement over being with them. Mental illness is the robber of dreams and a destroyer of family relationships.

Even a mother's love has limits.

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long ways from home
A long ways from home
True believer
A long ways from home
Along ways from home

Until the next time
John Strain

Gay Awesome Hero: A semi-rant about word usage

Words have meanings determined by usage. Our dictionary is dynamic and words that meant one thing in the 1950's may not mean the same thing today. I do not like all of the changes and here are three examples:

Gay: The word gay used to mean happy and light hearted. Now, the primary meaning is homosexual. It is confusing and restrictive at times. In the confusing category, I think of the Christmas Carol, "Deck the Halls." The line, "Don we now our gay apparel," conjures images of flamboyant, bright colored, silk shirts, leather pants, penny loafers, and other stereotypical "gay" attire. In the restrictive category, you better answer "fine" when someone asks how you are doing unless you want to cause raised eyebrows. What would happen if you answered the question, "How are you doing?" with "I'm feeling particularly gay today thank you?" I know what my friends would say.

Awesome: The problem with this word is it is watered down from overuse. I have always reserved this word for that special feeling I would get from experiencing natural beauty. It was a spiritual word for describing a feeling of the presence of God. This was a special word to be used sparingly.

These days the word "awesome" almost always precedes the word "dude." Everything is awesome now. The only word used more than awesome is the word "man."

Awesome is when one is filled with awe.

Hero: Another overused word is a hero.

He takes care of his kids - he is a hero.
She's deaf - she's a hero.
He has one leg - he is a hero.
He got an A on a book report - he is a hero.

While the above list contains achievements and overcome circumstances, I do not think they are heroic.

To me a hero is extraordinary, not something you are supposed to do or have to do anyway. The media tosses the term around a lot and more often than not, the newly labeled hero declines the characterization.

Everyone cannot be a hero or the word hero does not mean anything.

Well, I don't expect people to correct this just for me, but that would be awesome. This is just the way language evolves or devolves in my humble opinion.

This concludes my rant. Today, everyone who leaves a comment will be considered a hero in my book, because comments are awesome and they make me feel gay.

Until the next time
John Strain

Reality Matters

It is no secret that I train for and run marathons. My coach tells me how far to run and I do it. The final test is the race. The race is 26.2 miles and that is real.

Let’s say I decided that running 9.5 miles was the same as 10 miles or that 18 miles can count for a 20 miler. My training log would look to be in order, but my distance distortion would become evident on race day. The reality of shaving miles would hit me like a brick wall long before the finish and I would surely be disappointed with the result.

Distortions are all around us. Another is found in and around education. Children are told they are a genius because they do something expected. Some schools reward commonplace thinking the benefit to the pupil’s ego is worth it. But what happens when this child grows up and has a boss who is not so nurturing? What if the boss is demanding and does not see the need to massage fragile egos? A crisis occurs and a conflict arises.

Last year, a girl at one of the New Orleans schools earned the title of valedictorian. Her ACT scores were so bad, she did not qualify for college. She would have been better served to know the reality of her scholarship.

In the world we have winners and losers. Some people succeed and others fail miserably. At some point in my life, I have won, lost, succeeded, and failed miserably. It hurts to fail and I hate it, but I have learned from my failures. Furthermore, the failures make the victories much sweeter.

I believe folks are motivated by good intentions, but just like helping a baby bird out of an egg, deviating from reality does not help people.

Reality is the best thing for people, because it is what we eventually face. I heard a football coach comment once about the fragile psyche of some players. He said one of his most challenging tasks was to get his players to understand that coaching is not criticism. Just because a player needs to improve his tackling technique does not mean he is a bad person, loser, failure, or anything else.

Failure is one of my best motivators. I work to avoid failure. I work harder to erase a failure. If the adults in my life had shielded me from the pain of failure, they would also have robbed me from the education failure can teach.

Reality matters. Blowing things out of proportion by minimizing an achievement or elevating something common is equally destructive.

Until the next time
John Strain

Stolen from Cindra

I found this at Cindra's Blog. Go ahead squeeze your brain.

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Until the next time
John Strain

Playing with my camera

In the aftermath of destroying my last camera, I moved up to a Canon S2 IS. I took a photo of my dog in portrait mode and was surprised at the detail when I zoomed in on his eyes. In each eye, you can see the reflection of me taking the picture. This is not any trick photography, just the detail of 5 mp's.

Now, back to my toy.

Until the next time
John Strain