Looking Up

Life Ain't Always Beautiful as the Gary Allan song says. (Listen to the song)

As a matter of fact, some parts of my life right now are pretty stressful, aggravating, and just down right suck. I can't go into the particulars since I don't want to air dirty laundry or jeopardize my employment. Suffice it to say, things have been much better in my life than they are now - on certain fronts.

That said, I am not writing to whine, bitch, piss, and moan. I am writing to share a realization I had. It is a realization I always have when things get bad. These thoughts and beliefs comfort me when things go wrong. They are as regular as clockwork. They right my ship of emotion if you will.

Sometimes these thoughts are spontaneous. Sometimes they seep in and I rediscover them little by little. They are things I know in my head, but when things in my life aren’t so good, I learn them again in my heart. When I have been beaten down, these things buoy me and raise me up. They reset my perspective and assure me that everything will be just fine.

What are these thoughts? They are thoughts of perspective. They are thoughts of the eternal and of the transcendent. They are, of course, thoughts of God.

How did they seep in this time? I was walking Bear one night and I noticed a bright star or planet in the west just above the horizon. I have seen the stars a million times and marveled at them, but for some reason I wanted to know the name of the light I was seeing in the sky.

I did what any knowledge seeker these days would do; I turned to Google. I searched sites until I found the answer. The light in the darkness I saw was the planet Venus or the Evening Star. I learned that by August, Venus moves to the eastern horizon and is visible just before dawn. At that time it is referred to as the Morning Star.

I had heard these terms before, but I hadn't remembered them or their meaning. I became interested in the other lights in the sky. As I studied, I began to feel my little problems shrink in the face of our universe. God made all of this. It has been around a lot longer than me. I came from dust and to dust I will return. These stars have witnessed many people and civilizations come and go.

I still have my problems, but what significance can they have in 5, 50, or 500 years?

Then I recalled the words of the song "How Great Thou Art.":

O Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds your hands have made.
I see the stars,
I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

This song was inspired by Psalm 8:

O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.

Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?

For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.

Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:

All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;

The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.

O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

All of this is the result of me simply "looking up" one evening.

So there. Things may suck, to use a popular expression, but in the words of the writer of the Book of Romans:

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for all of us -- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? {Rom 8:31b-32 NIV}

So keep your head up, look toward the heavens, and maybe you will find God.

A couple of good links for viewing your night sky:

Night Sky at Space.Com

Stary Night (enter your Zip and see what the night sky looks like in your area)

Until the next time
John Strain

50 years of my music from 1957 to 2007

Click to download podcast: 50 Years of My Music 1957 - 2007 (45 mb, mp3, 39:21)

Listen to a sample: 4.8 mb, mp3, 4:10

If you would like to save the mp3 to your computer, click the down triangle on the far right of the Quicktime Player and choose one of the save options.

I finished my podcast by the same title of this post. It was quite a job and I used over 100 songs to put it together.

It is a 45 mb download, but it will stream so you don't have to download it all at once. The file is an mp3 so you should be able to listen to it in most media players.

I think folks will enjoy it, because it is non-stop music for 39 minutes and 21 seconds. I make comments along the way about the music.

For those of my regulars who have dial up and can't download the file, let me know and I will send you a CD with the podcast on it.

Until the next time
John Strain

Today is my 50th birthday

I am trying to look the part of an old man here. What do you think? Thanks to my sister for having built me this custom cane, I can venture into the decade of the 50's knowing I will be able to make it every step of the way.

I was opening a birthday card that came in the mail a day or so ago and it still felt like it did when I was south of 10 years old.

Birthdays were a big deal when I was little. The rank order of special days went like this: Christmas, birthday, Easter, Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day, and visits by the Tooth Fairy. Of course this list is also arranged in the amount of stuff I got.

Money was the usually present for my birthday. One set of grandparents sent me $3 dollars and the other set sent me a check for $5. My Aunt Beulah usually sent a couple of dollars. Uncle Louis and Aunt Gail would send a dollar or two and I might get money from my parents.

All total, I would have between $10 and $20 and in the 60's, that was like having $100 today.

That money burned a hole in my pocket. I would spend the days leading up to my birthday looking at catalogs and in stores for something to spend my birthday money on. It was a great feeling to look at some luxury item like a tape recorder or a radio and know I could afford it.

I almost always spent my money on something electronic. To this day, when I get extra bucks, I am getting something for the computer or the home theater. It is true what they say about the only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.

I am only working part of today. Bear and I are going to cut the grass, I am going to the gym to work out since I still can't run, then I am going to work on my "50 years of music" podcast. It is coming along nicely and I can't wait to post it.

It is really fun beginning sentences with, "I'm 50 years old and I'm not going to . . . anymore." One thing I have learned in my 50 years is that everything has its upside and its downside. Sure, I may not turn heads like I used to, but I have my health. Ha.

I don't know how much longer I am going to live, but I want the world to know this. I may not have everything I want and there may be things that gripe me day in and day out, but over all; I am about as happy as a person could expect to be. I have plenty to eat, I have a great family, I have a roof over my head, I am healthy, and I laugh most of the day. God has been good to me and I know it.

Saturday night is a dinner at Antoine's in New Orleans. I am taking my camera so stay tuned for some pics.

Until the next time
John Strain

Eye update

No drama here. My eye appointment with the retina specialist was a brief one. He said there is nothing to worry about. His diagnosis was just floaters. There are certainly more than there used to be, but in time, your brain adjusts.

Until the next time
John Strain

Big Week

I know it’s been a while since my last post. I have been working on a project. It is a podcast about music. Specifically, the music I grew up with. It has turned into a lot of work, but I am going to be pleased with the result. Look for it here in a few days.

The podcast itself is an overview of all of the music, but it got me thinking about a whole genre, if you will, for blog posts. I will take a song and then post what that song means to me. By describing the time in my life, my feelings, and circumstances, it should provide at least a few decent posts.

This is my last week as a 40 year old. On Friday, I join the ranks of the 50 year olds. To celebrate, we are going to New Orleans on Saturday and eating at Antoine’s – a storied and famous French Quarter restaurant. We will spend the night in the quarter too, so it should be a lot of fun.

OK, almost half-way to 100. I hope the second half is as much fun as the first.

Until the next time
John Strain