Quickie

This post is not about sex it is about a little bit of time. The rain has been nearly constant all week and I missed a day of running. I have been running so much, missing a day was like missing a hit of crack. I was like a caged animal. Today, threats of rain still loom and it is sprinkling now. I have a 20 miler called for on the training schedule. I am going to try to get it in.



Tonight is the parade party at my house. A Mardi Gras parade comes within 2 blocks of the house. People come by and use the house for a base station including, parking, peeing, drinking, and eating chili dogs, red beans and rice, king cake, and all manner of foods diet pundits warn against. Pictures will follow tomorrow.



My sister in law is a good source of jokes so here is another.



Phone rings

Boss: Hello

Bob: Yeah, I can't come to work today

Boss: Why not?

Bob: I went to the doctor and he says I have anal glaucoma.

Boss: What the hell is "anal glaucoma."

Bob: I just can't see myself coming into work today.



I can't see myself coming into work to day either, just don't give me drops to dilate my ass.



Off to run, got to get it over with so I can get ready for the party. Come on over if you are in the neighborhood.



Until the next time

John Strain

The Main Event

In this corner . . . . wearing the red, white, and blue trunks . . . . weighing in at just under a load and a half of bullshit . . . . with a record, getting a lot better as of late . . . . especially since he decided to start fighting dirty and ignoring the rules . . . . hiding behind the first amendment guarantee of free speech. . . . from the USA Network . . . . The Friday night movie . . . .THE PERFECT HUSBAND: THE LACI PETERSON STORY. (some cheers, some jeers and boos from the crowd.)



The ring announcer continues: And in this corner . . . . wearing the plain but practical trunks . . . . weighing in at just enough to beat any opponent whether they cheat or not . . . . with a pretty good record but on a recent losing streak . . . . all the way from the beginning of time . . . . obvious to most but invisible to many . . . . let's hear it for . . . . Truth, Honesty, Mutual Respect, and Responsibility. (some cheers, some jeers and boos from the crowd.)



The bell rings, the boxers move to the center of the ring and begin to spar. They are still at it. You and I need to help one of them or they will spar for ever. One getting the upper hand then the other. It is OK to help, because this fight will be won or lost based on our participation. Doing nothing is participation in this fight.



The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story



Normally, before I rag something, I read several articles to make sure I cover the bases of the arguments. This one has me wondering what the other argument could possibly be. I am not about boycotts, censorship, or any of that, but the decision by USA Network to produce and air this movie is a new benchmark in tastelessness and blatant disrespect for the REAL lives of families affected by tragedy.



The title "The Perfect Husband" leads one to believe Scott Peterson was at one time the perfect husband. Even if he did not kill Laci, he ran around on her, not quite perfect I'd say. Then there is the family thing. I cannot imagine how Laci's and Scott's families feel as this movie nears its showing.



Then there is the trial thing. No way can this movie do anything but cause problems for the trial. I thought networks had some sort of responsibility to serve the public. Even if it is not a law, how about a moral obligation? Show Janet Jackson's left tit or have a gay, interracial, couple screw a herd of sheep in slow motion. I think that would be less offensive than this movie, especially as it relates to the families involved. Anyone wanting to know about the case has ample reading on the net and viewing on virtually every news channel. Can you say "overkill?"



I am sure the USA Network is within their rights and are not breaking any laws. Tell that to a grieving mother and father who were almost grandmother and grandfather. Their life has been dealt a severe blow. Apparently, USA Network thinks this is good stuff. Businesses and citizens should do more than follow the law. The law gives us a general guideline. A great society depends on its citizens going the extra mile. They show respect, they treat others as they would like to be treated, they help their neighbor, they cry and grieve with those crying and grieving. If a society seeks to cash in and exploit a neighbor's sorrow, how wretched is that?



Imagine the meeting that hatched this bad idea. Somewhere in USA Network HQ a table was ringed with a bunch of MBA's who lost their souls after they signed that contract with the devil. The VP in charge of crap production speaks. "OK folks, we need a good idea for February." "How about the Olivia Newton John having breast cancer story" one of the bright eyed MBA's says. "That's already been done," the VP says in a monotone voice. A few more bad ideas are shot down, then the up and coming star speaks, "I know,the Laci Peterson story, if things work out, we could have this in the can before the trial." The VP was stroking his chin with his left hand and fidgeting with his pen in his right hand, he was nodding as boy genius explained his idea. Then one of the older guys says, "but won't that stir up folks, I mean, what about Laci's family? How would they feel?" The room erupts in laughter. "You cannot be serious" the VP says doing his best John McEnroe imitation. The old guy was shot down so he kept his mouth shut. The idea flew. Boy genius got the project and notified a production company. They began production November 03 and it will air Friday, February 13. They must be proud.



I emailed USA Network to tell them I disapproved of what they were doing. That is the only way I could think of to throw a punch in the fight announced at the beginning of this post. I got the automated reply thanking me for writing in about my favorite movie. I guess they side stepped my swing. With all of our reality programming, the powers who produce the programming do not get it. Their depiction of reality is a dream. They ignore reality and in so doing cause real pain on real people, who probably thought they could not feel any worse. I bet they are finding they can feel worse and they have the USA Network to thank for it.



Until the next time and have a happy Friday the 13th

John Strain

Neckties

Everything you always wanted to know about neckties, but was afraid to ask.



A lot of men complain about wearing neckties, but I like them. I like to dress up and a necktie is the icing on the cake. I own more than 100 of the little buggers and most of them are wearable. There is probably a cache of out of style ties somewhere around here. In the 70's they were real wide. In the 80's they were narrow. I liked the narrow ties cut straight across on the bottom. The width of ties varies from about 2 inches to 5 inches.



For more than 18 years, I have worn a tie to work. I am not required to do so, but I think it makes a person look more professional. It works too. The patients always think I am a doctor. The tie has a lot to do with respect people offer up. So I don't complain. Since I have worn them for so long, I have endless combinations with shirts, pants, and ties. I like to throw on a sport coat every now and then just to hear the comments. "Who died?" "Are you going to a job interview?" The other thing that happens, is the nurses will always give Barbara credit for my outfit. They will say, "Barbara sure dresses you well." Granted, Barbara buys most of the ties and she has good taste, but I am no slouch. I can match a tie to a shirt without help.



Some say wearing a necktie in a psychiatric hospital is dangerous. The reason being, someone could kill you. We have a security guard who is a caricature of a security guard. This guy makes Barnie Fife look like Super Cop. One day, we were talking and he dished out a portion of unsolicited advice. "You shouldn't wear that tie back there," motioning to the unit. "Why not?" I asked, humoring him. "He gave me the pat answer, then recommended I wear clip on ties, that is what he does." I did not say it, but I thought, I would rather be dead than wear a clip on.



Let me tell you about some of my ties. I love purple and have a lot of purple ties (top right). I like to have ties for the season so I have ties for Valentine's Day and Christmas (middle right and bottom right). I have a nice collection of animal ties (middle left). The bottom left are my bolder print neckties. Finally, the top left are just regular ties.



When my son wears a tie I have to tie it for him. One dance he and his two friends were going to back in high school, I had to tie all three neckties for them. This meant I had to stand behind the boy and tie as though it were on my neck. For me, it is the Windsor knot (named after the Duke of Windsor). Just the other day, I picked up a tip from the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" gang. They showed how to make the dimple under the knot. Never too old to learn a new trick I suppose.



So that's it. I like ties, I have a lot of them. If you ever need to borrow one, just let me know.



Until the next time

John Strain

Musical Confessions

In this picture, I am 9 months old. The year was 1957 and I was enjoying my first Christmas. The photo looks innocent enough, I suppose, but I am ashamed to say within this photo is an item of drug paraphernalia. I am referring of course, to the square piece of furniture - a combination record player / radio. It was a musical crack pipe and it attached a "jones" to my back so tight, it's still there. I've been turned out my whole life. I have paid dearly too. Music has encroached on my entire life. At work, at home, even at church. I have to have music. I am so pathetic.



Here is my story: The very first record I bought was in 1966, Georgy Girl by the Seekers. I still remember what the record looked like. It was a 45 RPM from Capital Records. The center was orange and yellow. I played it a million times.




That old phonograph folded down on the left side. The right side of the console opened to reveal a large radio dial. It had a light behind the dial and there were only two knobs on it. One for off/on/volume and the other for tuning. To play a 45 you needed an adapter to make the big hole smaller. I tried in vein, in the absence of an adapter to place the record on the turntable, but I could never get it just right. It would start out OK, but soon the record would spin out of round and the tone arm would skip. You had to have an adapter.



I bought other 45's in those days. The first few records I bought were: Kind of a Drag, Buckinghams; Snoopy and the Red Baron; He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother, The Hollies; Incense and Peppermints, Strawberry Alarm Clock; and Venus, Shocking Blue.



The first album I bought was "Introducing the Archies." There! I said it! I bought bubble gum music. Oh the embarrassment. I was only 12 or 13, so young and naive. I have tried to make it right. I have listened to lots of Hendrix, Clapton, Frampton, Page, and Santana. All of that should cleanse me from the bubble gum sins.



Over the years, I bought a lot of record albums. Then I bought a lot of 8 track tapes. Then I bought a lot of cassette tapes. Then I bought a lot of CD's. Then I downloaded a lot of music from Napster. I think the RIAA are a bunch of monopolizing jerks and I have shed few tears over the whole downloading thing. For one reason, I have had to buy the same music several times. Each format change means give the RIAA more money. Presently, I purchase music from the Apple Music Store. I pay .99 per song. Where will it end up? I don't know, but I will be there. It is a drug I cannot live without.



I do not blame my mother for introducing me to this addiction - on the contrary - I am glad she did. This is one addiction I do not want release from.



Until the next time

John Strain

Congratulations to Tim on the birth of his new baby daughter, Mercedes Jean. Tim lives Down Under. I get a lump in my throat when I see a new baby, because it reminds me of when my own son was born. Best wishes Tim and Judith with little Mercedes and the rest of the family.