Thursday
Jun032004
Thursday, June 3, 2004 at 12:01AM
Misfiring Synapses
I am chronicling the metamorphosis of my brain from neurons, neurotransmitters, and synapses to cottage cheese. As my synapses are now misfiring, not unlike a firecracker stand receiving an errant discarded cigarette, my thoughts are exploding all over the place tonight.
Misfiring thought number one:
I watched the Lord of the Rings series as I posted earlier. Now it seems a fellow by the name of J.R.R. Tolkien has written a book about those movies. I shall have to pick it up and see how close he comes to the real story.
Misfiring thought number two:
Chocks vitamins. Do you remember Chocks vitamins? When I was a kid, my mom gave us these vitamins. Getting us to take them was no hard sell on her part, because Charlie Chocks the spaceman said we should take them. In the late 60's, spacemen knew their stuff. Sometimes we had One A Day vitamins. These vitamins were red and looked like candy. Once and only once, I bit into one and found out it really tasted like
Misfiring thought number three:
Are you in the mood for a few laughs of the visual variety? Go to officeclips.com for some funny short videos. Most involve someone doing something stupid.
Misfiring thought number four:
What about kids and college housing these days? When I went to college, I stayed in the dorm like the commoner I was. I enrolled late, so for the first few weeks, I was number three in a two man room. The room was small, but when one of my roommates started playing with his nun chucks, it seemed even smaller. It was fun watching him beat himself half to death while attempting to master the technique. Anyway, my son is transferring to LSU this fall and the dorms are substandard housing for his liking. This Friday, we are going to Baton Rouge to look for something suitable. Stay tuned.
Misfiring thought number five:
Cops and judges. In New Orleans, a judge released a prisoner who had been caught on tape firing an assault weapon at a car wash which injured two people. Within 48 hours of his release, he is suspected of killing two more people. Antoine Johnson has been arrested several times for serious charges and he keeps getting out. The only thing I can think of that would explain such judicial behavior is the suspect has nude pictures of the judge in compromising positions with a goat.
Misfiring thought number six:
Ummm, uhhh. Shoot, I forgot what I was going to say.
Misfiring thought number seven:
How and why we puke. This is an interesting little article on a website about the human body for kids. Lots of good information for kids and us adults who need simple explanations about the workings of the body.
Misfiring thought number eight related to misfiring thought number seven:
Two guys were sitting around watching television. Thirsty for a beer, Bob stands up and heads to the refrigerator, "Do you want a beer?" he asks his buddy. "Yeah, but whatever you do, don't bring me a Bud Light." The guy returns and hands Bob a Coors. Twenty minutes later, thirsty for another beer, the first guy heads off for another. He asks Bob once again, "Can I get you another one?" Same response from Bob, "Yeah, I'll have one, but absolutely no Bud Light." The guy returns with another Coors. "So Bob, what's the deal with no Bud Light?" Bob said, "Man, the last time I drank Bud Light, I drank so much I wound up blowing chunks." Bob's friend responded, "If you drink too much of any beer you are going to throw up." Bob said, "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog."
Misfiring thought number nine:
A clean joke about peaches. A country pastor was making the rounds visiting his congregation. When he visited the Smith house, they were just cracking open a bottle of fresh homemade peach brandy. The pastor's mouth began to water and throwing caution to the wind, he asked for a glass. Mr. Smith said, "Sure Pastor, but if I give you this, you have to promise to thank me publicly from the pulpit next Sunday." Letting his cravings get the better of him, the pastor agreed to Mr. Smith's terms and enjoyed a nice glass of peach brandy. As Sunday approached, the pastor was having second thoughts about his promise. It would be embarrassing to admit he was drinking with a church member. Nervous or not, Sunday came and the pastor led the service. Mr. Smith was sitting in the congregation waiting for his public thanking. Finally, just before the preacher dismissed the congregation, he said, "Oh, one more thing. I want to thank Brother Smith for the peaches, and the "spirit" in which they came."
Happy Thursday everyone.
Until the next time
John Strain