Motivation

Motivation is a funny thing. If you have it, the sky is the limit. Without motivation, one is doomed to failure. The sniffles may be the reason someone calls in sick to work, but the same person would brave the bubonic plague to do something they deemed fun.



One of my coworkers is convinced she cannot understand math. If I attempt to explain how to figure a percentage for instance, her eyes glaze over. I tell her she "can" learn, but lacks the motivation. Thus far, she still lacks the motivation.



Eyes glazing over is a definite sign there is no motivation present. I have gotten better at detecting this condition and stop talking when I spot it. I especially realize this phenomenon whenever I try to explain something mechanical to a woman. I like to know how things work, therefore, I can figure out what is wrong when they don't work. My mistake is assuming others also want to understand. In my experience, many do not wnat to know - they just want the damn thing fixed.



In reality, I think we are all motivated, just in different ways. Our interests are not the same and neither are our motivations. The psychiatric patients I work with are highly motivated around the third of the month. They clear up remarkably and become quite involved in their discharge planning. That check is wonderful motivation. Cigarettes motivate them as well. These people become very creative, resourceful, and persuasive if there is a smoke in it for them. Now if I could find a way to motivate them to take their medication, keep MD appointments, and say no to drugs, I would be on to something.



The New Year is a great time to renew one motivation or another. Do you plan to set a resolution? Choose something you are already motivated about. Set a goal that is both specific and attainable.



What motivates you?



Until the next time

John Strain

The Passing of Time

Occasionally there are moments in my life where my awareness seems to grasp the big picture. Instead of chasing the minutiae of the day, things seem to crystallize and I see them clearly. For me the Christmas season stirs my memories. I reminisce about Christmas' past.



I am usually the last to bed at our house. On my way to bed, I turn off the lights, lock the doors, and check the thermostat. This one evening as I went through my evening ritual, all of the lights had been turned off except the Christmas tree. Just the glow of the colored lights and shine from the ornaments stirred fond memories from my childhood in Kansas. I can remember 40 years ago when I was a kid. I can remember 15 years ago when I was a young father. I was aware of the passing of time. I did not feel fear, anxiety, or sadness. It would be easy to do so. One could focus on what is over and never to return. One could focus on how short time is getting and any number of dreaded fears. That night though, I marveled at how I could experience something as a child for the first time. Then I could experience it through my child as a parent. Someday, if I am lucky, I will get to experience the Christmas season through the eyes of my grandchild.



Life is always new. Though we experience the same thing each year, we are not the same. I marvel at this. We have an idea of what to expect, but because we are different and the circumstances are fluid, we experience new feelings. All Christmas' are not the same, because we are not the same. Our roles change and our responsibilities evolve. What our parents did is passed on to us. The torch of time goes from generation to generation. We experience first hand what we have been told about or have observed. We get one chance, and then we move on to the next thing.



Therefore, life provides continual challenge - thank goodness. Things would get boring quickly if we could master them easily. Just when we get good at a task, we must move on to the next one.



As I gaze at our Christmas lights and feel the feelings of nostalgia, I will offer a prayer of thanks to God for this ride we call life. A lot of water under the bridge, they say, I hope there will be a lot more to follow.



Until the next time

John Strain

Christmas 2004

St Joseph Abbey click to enlarge photos

Christmas Eve was a cold gray day. After my AM run, Barb, LJ, and I went to the gym to burn off a few calories. With some serious eating and drinking ahead, we needed to take some preventive action. I was home most of the day alone. John was working from 11 to 6 at Circuit City and Barbara was shopping. I enjoyed doing nothing.



At 5:00 PM, Marty picked Barbara and I up and we drove to the St Joseph Abbey north of town. The St Benedictine monks have been on this site since the late 1800's. Today it is a seminary - college and home to a beautiful Catholic church.



Strings of white Christmas lights hung in the trees. It was nearly dark and the large stone and brick buildings were in silhouette against the faint light of dusk. Inside the church, the lights were dim and we walked to the third pew from the front. The festive peal of the church bells had been playing since we arrived. Sitting in the dimly lit church listening to the bells was a surreal experience. When the monks arrived, they stayed at the back of the church. Candles were lit and other monks were dispatched around the church to light candles in each window and on some of the large pillars. Once the candle lighting was complete, a procession of the monks and priests began and they filed to the front of the church, taking their places for the worship, which was to come.



The music and singing was beautiful. It was a peaceful service known as vespers. It lasted for about 40 minutes and ended as it began, with a procession. Soon we were standing in the church alone and all was quiet. It was a beautiful experience.



That evening, we went to Marty and Cindy's house for a small gathering. The usual fare of eating, drinking, and conversing was its usual fun time. We went to bed about 2 AM. We were pressing our luck, but fortunately, Santa had not been to our house yet. We all went to sleep trying to dream of dancing sugarplums.



Christmas morning, I got up about 8:15 AM. This is a new record for me. I am usually up at the usual 5:00 AM, but having gotten to bed at 2:00 AM, I needed the rest. I made a pot of coffee and got everyone else up for the unwrapping of the presents. John was happy to get the new iPod as you can see in the photo.



Hobo was right in the middle of things as he has been the last 13 years. He got a stocking with his favorite treats in it. He has gotten used to this once a year ritual and piles of paper and boxes faze him very little. This will probably turn out to be his last Christmas - enough said about that.



Finally, we had a little surprise for Christmas - SNOW. All week, the weather people had been talking about long shot scenarios bringing snow to Louisiana. I always doubt them. In the morning, it began to sleet. It came down pretty good and the sound of the sleet hitting the trees was much louder than rain. Later on, we were treated to a few snowflakes. In the photo where John is just standing on the driveway, you can see little white specks. Those specks are snow. It snowed even more in New Orleans. Even in the Gulf, rig workers made a snowman with the snow that fell on their platform. Today, the temps are supposed to be in the 60's. Things are getting back to normal.



The rest of the day was devoted to eating, drinking, and watching sports on TV. Another Christmas is in the books. It was a good one.



I hope yours was a happy one too. Now it's on to New Years.



Until the next time

John Strain

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas Eve folks! It's a party down here on the bayou. The crawfish come alive and the bigger ones bring presents. Even the alligators help with the cooking. Today was the last day of darkness before the Light came into the world. I hope you are celebrating where you are. If you didn't get a chance to do so, click on the Cajun Christmas in my sidebar and listen to Justin Wilson read this modern classic.











Enjoy it, celebrate it, we have built up to this moment, now is the time to let everything go that did not get done and immerse yourself in the here and now.



Until the next time

John Strain

Bullet Dodged: Male Ego Intact

This is a story of me making a big decision and almost being wrong. I've been wrong before, but this time would have been bad, because my wife would have had, "I told you so rights" for years to come.



The day before Thanksgiving we got into a wreck. To make a long story short, our car was totaled. The circumstnaces set in motion by an automobile accident are a hassle at best and tortureous by most people's experience. Right after that awful sound of crumpling metal, little realizations began seaping into my awareness, such as:

     My insurance sucked - No rental car coverage, poor communication, and slooooow action.



     When you tell people about the accident, they always say, "The important thing is everyone is OK."



     Wrecks are not financially friendly.



One thing I learned during this process was, my 19 year old son is growing up. We took his Nissan truck and made him go truckless at LSU for two weeks. He did not complain a bit, because he understood the situation. He also probably knew to resist would have been futile. At least he was spared a lecture by going along with our wishes.



From November 24 until December 19 we went with out a vehicle. I had looked for a car in the paper and online at Auto Trader.com. The car that was totaled was a 96 Infiniti I30. We purchased it used with 90K miles. It went to the Happy Hunting Ground with 140K miles. My quest was to get another I30 only newer. I found a 2000 model that was close by last week so we took a look at it and liked what we saw. We purchased the car last Sunday.



Barbara is usually freaked out about miles. This 2000 had 75K miles on it. Our conversations usually went like this:

Me: Here's one. A 2000 I30 with 75K miles for 11,995.

Her: That's a lot of miles.

Me: Not for an Infiniti, those suckers run forever. Everyone says they should get at least 200K miles easy.

Her: I need a reliable car. I don't want something that will break down and strand me.

Me: This will be fine. Our last one had 90K on it and would still be running if it weren't smashed right now.

Her: OK. (It is the kind of "OK" that tails off which really means - OK smartass, we'll see.)

So I am out on a limb with the decision. I figured the car was a good value and I had a million reasons why we should buy it. Barbara went along, because she knew she could always say, "I told you so," if the situation blew up.



We drove the car home on Sunday and showed it to our friends. The concensus was overwhelming that the car was a good deal and the decision to buy it was an example of my sound judgment. Then today at 4:27 PM I get a cell phone call from Barbara:

Her: I am stranded in the middle of HWY 21. The car won't do anything.

Me: What do you mean?

Her: It won't crank or anything.

Me: Hmmmm.

Her: Let me call you back the police are here.



2 minutes later:

Her: OK they got it going. They jumped it off.

Me: Good



We hang up, then in about 2 minutes later she calls again:

Her: Can you and Marty come with the jumper cables? I am stranded again. I knew we should have gotten a new car.

Me: Did you try turning the wheel and jiggling the shifter? (I ignored the vote of no-confidence)

Her: (Turning and jiggling) It still does not start.

Me: OK Marty and I are on our way.

Marty and I arrived and once the jumper cables were hooked up, the car came to life. Our diagnosis was a bad battery. No big deal, I can change that out in no time. Marty took off and as we tried to go, the car died and we coasted just off the road. We traveled about 40 feet. Barbara was frustrated and I was trying to figure out what was going on.



I could tell Barbara was on the verge of telling me I made a bad deal reminicent of Jack and the magic beans, but she was holding it in. I was desperately trying to stay in denial not wanting to think I had bought a lemon. I quickly phoned Marty to come back. In the mean time, I popped the hood again and took another look. When I grabbed the negative battery cable, it moved. The cable was loose. Ah ha! The mystery was solved and the problem was minor. I knew I made the right decision all along.



A little tightening of the cable to the battery terminal and everything was wonderful again. Phew! I would have never lived it down. Sure the car will need repairs someday, but not for 6 to 9 months or I will have to hear those dreaded words, "I told you so."



I am happy to report my male ego remains fully intact.



Until the next time

John Strain